Total Drama Cruise Tour
by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever
Summary: Chris McLean has brought back 24 of your favorites from TDI all the way to TDPI for a chance of glory and redemption. And it all takes place around a huge cruise ship that Chris has put together. There will be laughter, joy, tears, heartbreak and everything in between! Just who on earth will take home that two million dollars? Co-written by Snakeshark196. PM me for challenge ideas.
1. The Thrillride Begins, Part I

**"Total Drama Cruise Tour"**

**Rated T for language and whatnot  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Total Drama, especially the characters. Total Drama and it's characters are owned by FreshTV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis. Anyway, I figured I'd try my hand at a competition fic right here. I don't know, it may not be good, it may not be bad, but I hope you'll still love it. Anyway, on with the fic!**

**P.S.: I will also have Snakeshark196 helping me with the challenges as well. We're gonna co-write this together, if that is if we need more help. ^_^**

* * *

**Chapter 1: The Thrillride Begins, Part I  
**

* * *

The setting was clear as day itself. The sun was shining across a huge cruise ship, which looked white and titanic as a certain host's shining teeth. As if he weren't full of himself, the ship was also named after himself and a likeliness of his head was used as the bow. Not to leave out the huge silver tubes that's used to blow smoke from the engines had a likeliness of the host blowing his airhorn.

Suddenly, the host, which went by the name of Chris McLean, popped up from the camera.

"Hellllll-loooooo, campers!" Chris exclaimed, "Welcome back to an all-new spanking season of Total Drama! Sure it's been a long time since I've hosted something like this, but let me tell ya, this season is unlike anything you've ever seen in your life! We conquered the Island, we delivered a lot of Action, we went on a spanking World Tour, we had the island get its Revenge, and not to mention, we Pahk'd it up and brought the house down. But this time, it's gonna be different!"

The scene then switched to Chris getting on the boat itself.

"Forget the islands, movie sets and airplanes!" The host exclaimed again, "This time, this season is going all-in with this fine cruuuuuuuuuise shiiiiip! We've got every thing a passenger could ever hope for! The sweet delicate sounds of soft rock, the fine-ass cuisine from our finest chefs, two huge swimming pools, a game room, and a movie theater for excellent entertainment. Of course, that's only for the first class! For the lower class, that's another story I'm gonna go through later."**  
**

The next scene showed Chris off the boat and back to solid ground. Obviously, he was at the harbor, awaiting the arrival of the 24 contestants that were awaiting to compete in the show.

"We got 24 sucker- um, I mean 24 hopeful veterans of Total Drama Island all the way to Total Drama Pahkitew Island." Chris chuckled, "It's gonna be extreme, it's gonna be painful, it's gonna be the most exotic thrill-ride of their entire life as our contestants will ride out into the sunset with this season's prize of TWO... MILLION... DOLLARS! Who will reign supreme and who will lose a lot more than their lunch. Whatever it is, I'm not gonna be held responsible for it. So fasten your seat-belts and hold on to your helmets, because we're about to set sail in a new season of TOTAL... DRAMA... CRUISE TOUR!"

* * *

Chris McLean was still shown at the harbor, still awaiting the entrances of the contestants.

"Welcome back yet again!" Chris exclaimed, "Now the moment that you've all been waiting for is finally here! Has your longtime favorite returned for an another shot at the two million dollars? Concerning from the lame-o-sine I hear very far away, the wait is over! Let's see who's returned!"

Next to Chris, the lame-o-sine (which was driven by Chef Hatchet) pulled up onto the harbor. Chef Hatchet got out of the limo and opened up the backdoor, revealing to be a certain dumb blonde with a blue bandana and a big rack. She finally got out of the limo and introduced Chris.

"What a surprise, Lindsay's back!" Chris exclaimed.

"Feels so good to be back, Craig!" Lindsay squealed in delight.

"Uhhh," Chris sighed, "For the last 1,234,843,321st time, it's Chris! C-H-R-I-S!"

"Sorry, my bad!" Lindsay blushed, "Still learning a lot from ninth grade."

"Yeah, I imagine why a grownup would still be stuck in middle school..." Chris muttered as Lindsay stood next to him.

The next contestant to come out of the Lame-o-sine was a muscular guy with a flat-top, tight green shirt, dark blue shorts, and military boots. After stepping out of the vehicle, the man marched to the host himself and gave a salute.

"Brick McArthur, reporting for re-duty, sir!" Brick shouted.

"Glad to see that competitive spirit again, Captain PeePants!" Chris snickered.

"Um, can we not mention that again?" Brick said, blushing in shame.

"Why not, it's actually true!" Chris chuckled.

"The host doesn't lie, Mr. Urineblaster!" A voice shouted.

Suddenly, Brick's heart fell from her chest when he realized where that voice came from. Brick turned around to see an athletic woman with a gray hoodie and gray sweatpants step out of the Lame-o-sine.

That contestant happened to be Jo, who had a smirk on her face.

"Hey, Jo." Brick greeted her as she walked up.

"Hey, wet shorts." She grunted back as she walked past.

"And welcome back Jo!" Chris greeted.

As Jo walked by, Brick noticed a sweet perfume coming from her.

"Um, Jo." Brick interrupted the host. "Nice perfume."

Jo rolled her eyes, when she turned around to say something. She found him inches away with a red face and sweaty palms.

"Get away." Jo growled, "Creepy much?" She pushed him away as she walked to end of the dock with Brick following her.

Chris shrugged, "Anyway, next we have..."

Owen came barging out and gave Chris a death hug. This forced Chef to come over and separate the two.

"Owen." Chris clutched his side, "I think I have some broken ribs. But whatever. Welcome back, Owen."

"Thanks." Owen cheered. "It's awesome to be back, dude!" He fist pumped.

"Now move along." Chris ordered as the next contestant arrived.

After Owen's entrance, a huge sucking sound was made inside the Lame-o-sine. Whatever that was, Chris felt a bit disgusted. He didn't want to know what it is, but he had to find out anyway.

"Okay, I really hate to see what's inside there..." Chris gulped.

The host soon approached the lame-o-sine and gave out a disgusting look on his face.

"Ohhh, oh that's disgusting!" Chris said as he started heaving, "Get out of the lame-o-sine now! I didn't allow that kind of behavior in the outhouse back at Camp Wawanakwa! Heaven knows I don't allow it here!"

"Okay, fine!" A female voice said, whining her bratty little head off.

"Why must you interrupt our love time, amigo?" A male voice whined as well.

"Because I don't get paid to have people love!" Chris snapped again, "Now get out of the limo!"

The two people who were making that sucking sound stepped out of the limo. The female had long black hair and was decked out in a mahogany halter top while the male had medium brown hair, a brown soulpatch and wore his signature bull necklace. The host shuddered with embarrassment as he knew who these two love-birds were.

"Well, as much as I love to lose my bile, we have Alejandro and Heather back again." Chris gulped.

"And for the record, we weren't making out!" Heather corrected him, "My Alsy-walsy had a tick attached to his neck and I had to get it out with my teeth! It's the truth and you know it, Chris!"

"Yeah, I don't really care, Heather." The host scowled at the two. "Just join the rest."

"It's just a shame you don't appreciate true love like what mine and mi amor share." Alejandro snarled back at the host as he walked with Heather with his arm around his shoulder.

"Frankly, I don't give a damn." Chris muttered, "Anyway, let's see who else also returned!"

The next person who stepped out of the limo was a certain goth girl Heather loved to hate but everyone loved to love. Apparently, she didn't feel like she wanted to be here, but she was here nonetheless.

"I'll be, it's another returning favorite and fellow all-star, Gwen!" Chris exclaimed.

"Yeah, I don't really care what you think, Chris." Gwen sighed as she passed the host by, "Let's just kill me now and get it over with."

"That's the Gwen I'd love to see!" The host smirked.

As Gwen stood next to Lindsay, Chris saw the next contestant step out of the limo. However, his annoying voice, compete with his slicked brown hair and clothing that nearly resembled the host himself, came as a surprise:

"Guess who's baaaaaaaaaack?" Topher said, popping up from the top of the limo.

"Oh no, not him again!" Chris whined again, "Anybody but that me wannabe!"

As much as he wanted to cry, the broken ribs that Owen gave him affected the host dearly.

"Aggggh, my ribs!" Chris yelled in pain.

"Chris!" Topher yelled as he got out the limo and checked up on him, "Any help-"

"NOOOOO!" Chris yelled at him, "Remember the restraining order! Nowhere near 15 feet away from me!"

Topher was a bit disappointed. All he wanted to do was help his childhood idol out. The host didn't have the right to do that to a fan, even though he had a right to because his name was Chris McLean.

"Wow, you're a bit harsh this season." Topher replied out of shock, which soon turned into joy. "I really like that! Always push yourself to the limit, my man!"

"I'm about to push a ribcage down my crapper here..." Chris sighed painfully.

While Chris was trying to recover, a flock of colorful birds spun all around him along with a singing voice coming from a certain princess.

"NO, NOT THAT AGAIN!" The host yelled again.

Coming from top of the limo was Ella, a returnee from Total Drama: Pahkitew Island. With the birds carrying her out of the limo, she began to sing.

"_I aaaaaaam baaaaaaack to compete agaaaaaaaaaaain..._" Ella spoke in a sing-songy tone.

"Yeah, I'm glad to hear it..." Chris painfully nodded as he got back up to his feet.

"It's such a pleasure to be back in your presence." Ella smiled, "Before we start, I'd love to dedicate this victory to my best friend Sugar. Sugar, if you're there, I'd love to say that I'm winning this for the both of us. You're the best hum-AAH!"

But suddenly, Ella was cut off by a certain jock, who got out of the lame-o-sine and pushed her off the dock.

"Watch out, ya fairy tale!" The jock exclaimed, "Because Lightning's back to sha-win this! Nothing else is gonna stop me from winning the sha-million!"

"Ha, as if!" A mysterious female said off-screen.

Out of nowhere, she blasted Lightning in the eyes with her hair spray!

"AGGGGH, LIGHTNING GON' BLIND!" Lightning shouted as he fell to the floor.

The person who nailed Lightning with the eye spray was Anne Maria, who was busy puffing up her pouffe.

"If there's anyone who's deservin' the million, I'm the one who's winnin'!" She said in front of the host. "There's no way I'm gettin' ripped off twice!"

"Well, we're glad to see you back as well, Anne Maria and Lightning." Chris smiled to the both of them.

"Thanks." She replied, "If I happen ta see that Zombie freak one more time, I'm kicking him right where he was born!"

"Zombies?" A mysterious voice said from the lame-o-sine, "THERE'S ZOMBIES? GET ME OUT OF THIS HELL-HOLE!"

"Calm down, mate!" Another voice said from the limo, "It's not even real!"

From the voices that Chris heard, it seemed to be coming from a certain zombie-nut and a tall attractive woman with black skin, an Australian accent and dressed in an adventurer's outfit. Carefully, they got out of the limo as the tall chick was holding the scared and shaken conspiracy theorist.

"Looks like we've got another couple returning from Pahkitew Island, Shawn and Jasmine!" Chris exclaimed, "It's been a long time since we've seen the both of you."

"Yeah, it's been way _too long_ to be exact..." Jasmine sighed, "Shawn's still hasn't gone over his phobia of zombies yet. Maybe a little comfort can help calm him down. I've been doing that since opening my flower/cage fighting store."

"I love the daisies there." Chris smirked.

While the host kept looking at Jasmine and Shawn, he felt his back being blasted by a flow of colored yellow air. He then realized that he was being tagged by graffiti!

"AGGH!" Chris yelped, "What the-?"

As Chris looked around his shoulder, he was shocked to see Duncan standing next to him.

"Miss me, Chris?" The punk smirked.

"All too often..." Chris scowled at him.

"Yeah, I really do have to admit that cage down at the prison was a bit cold and lonely, which is why I miss the hot day air." Duncan smirked, "Reminds me of my aunt's house."

As Duncan walked back the host, he decided to walk to where Gwen was standing.

"Hey, sweet thing." Duncan winked at her.

"Go to hell, Duncan." Gwen replied.

"Already did, hun." Duncan smirked again.

"Okay, so far, we've already got 14 contestants." Chris smirked at the camera, "Let's see who-"

"HOW DARE YOOOOOOOU?" A voice angrily shouted at Chris.

But then, Chris let out one painful gulp.

"Oh no..." He muttered.

The next person who came out of that lame-o-sine happened to be Courtney, who wasn't very happy to be here. And she had one hell of a reason why. Using her anger, Courtney immediately grabbed the host's collar.

"HOW DARE YOU, CHRIS MCLEAN?" Courtney shouted, "OF ALL THE THINGS I'VE BEEN THROUGH SINCE ALL-STARS ENDED, YOU HAD TO PUT _HIM_?"

Courtney then pointed out to Duncan, who decided to wave back at him.

"Sorry Courtney, he was popular with the fans, so I had to put him in." Chris replied, "If you got a problem with that, I'd let you call your lawyers. But that wouldn't be possible since we got no cell phone reception. Finders keepers, Courtney."

"That figures..." Courtney snarled as she let go of the host and walked where the others stood.

"Hey Princess, miss me?" Duncan shouted-out to her.

"Go kiss your own butt!" Courtney snapped at him.

"Already did, princess!" He replied, "You wanna see?"

"Oh dear, you're not kidding, right?" Courtney cringed.

This little back-talk between Courtney and Duncan was bringing joy to Chris's face as ever.

"Ahhh, it's almost like several years old." Chris sighed, "It never gets old. Well, as much as I love to introduce the rest, I've got only seven minutes until commercial break, so let's do this the easy way, shall we?"

Digging into his pocket, Chris pulled out a giant red buzzer. With a press of a button...

*BOING!*

...the remaining contestants were launched out of the Lame-o-sine and flew right into the sky. After that, the contestants started coming back down with parachutes. One by one, Chris introduced them all.

"Okay, here's the rest who are returning." The host replied, "We have the other lovebirds, Geoff and Bridgette!"

A shot was shown of Geoff and Bridgette making out, followed by the both going "Whoo-hoo" on the way down.

"Next up, we got the freaky fairy herself, Dawn!"

"Free mother nature, everyone!" Dawn shouted on the way down.

After getting a good shot of Dawn, the camera then got a good glare at another couple. One looked short and had Purple Beatle hair while the other one had messy orange hair and an orange sweater along with a green skirt.

"Next up, we got the evil pairing of Max and Scarlett!" Chris shouted out.

"For the last time, we're not a couple, you butt-chinned weakling!" Max shouted down to the host, "She's just a sidekick!"

"For the final time, I'm not your sidekick!" Scarlett shouted at Max.

After getting a good shot of Max and Scarlett, the camera scrolled up to see a black-haired guitarist latch on to his parachute.

"Returning from Total Drama Action, we have fellow Drama Brother, Trent!"

"It's so good to be back, man!" Trent shouted in victory.

After Trent came another female contestant, which had a skinny build, pink tanktop, pink shorts, pink shoes, and had her blonde hair grown back into his formal self.

"Returning back from Total Drama Revenge Of The Island and back to normal, it's Dakota!" Chris exclaimed.

"I miss you already, Sam!" Dakota shouted on the way down, "I'll win this one for you, you sexy chunky nerd you!"

After getting a good shot of Dakota, the camera then got a good look at Dave, another returning contestant from Total Drama Pahkitew Island. Apparently, Dave hesistated and tried to fly just to ease the landing.

"Back and in his little wussy form, it's crybaby Dave!" Chris smirked.

"C'mon, fly!" Dave cried out, "Fly, I tell ya! Why can't I fly?"

After all the remaining contestants finally reached ground, Chris started taking check at each contestant who arrived at the dock.

"Okay, I think that's everybody accounted for." Chris nodded, "That should be 24, I think. Now that we have everyone, we can get started on the rul-"

"HEY CHRIS, YOU FORGOT ME!" Someone shouted.

"Who was that?" Chris said, looking around his shoulders.

Apparently, he forgot someone. He did mention Alejandro, Bridgette, Courtney, Duncan, Geoff, Gwen, Heather, Lindsay, Owen, Trent, Lightning, Anne Maria, Dawn, Brick, Jo, Dakota, Dave, Shawn, Jasmine, Topher, Scarlett, Max and Ella's name. It came to realization that he only had 24 people left, when in reality, only 23 contestants came here.

"Is there an echo here?" Chris raised his eyebrow.

"No, you don't!" The figure spoke, "I'm right here."

Not having the host realize this, an unknown person waved his hands right behind Alejandro and Heather, which forced Chris McLean to recognize him instantly. He had dark brown hair, had the same body structure as Alejandro's, and was decked out in a tight green shirt, blue pants and green sandals. Not to mention that model-like face with those blue eyes and that tremendous smile.

"Oh Justin, I didn't see you, dude." Chris replied.

"Duh, of course everyone came to see me." Justin replied, "Besides, what would a show be without the most sexiest man of all of Total Drama? Besides, I'm certain that all the ladies came here to see me and my hotness. For example, check out my hot awesome abs."

Just to set the mood, Justin ripped off his shirt and showed off his abs to every one of the women standing by the pier.

But to Justin's surprise, his special powers didn't work. All he got was nasty looks from the female campers (all except Dawn and Dakota, who were confused by him). Most notably, Heather didn't even bother looking at him since she was still sucking face with Alejandro. That little make-out scene grossed everyone out, including Justin himself.

"Ohhhh, come on already!" Justin whined.

"Hey, I don't like it way more than you do, Justin." Chris replied, "Anyway, if you'll focus on this little video screen near me, I'll go on with the rules."

Suddenly, a huge video screen popped up showing a bit of static.

"So, were watching snow drizzle?" Shawn raised his eyebrow.

"No, we are not watching snow drizzle!" Chris yelled at the zombie nut.

"Ooooh, I love snow!" Lindsay said, clapping and jumping, "I want some."

"Yeah, big difference..." Dave muttered.

"Anyway, while I was rudely interrupted..." Chris sternly replied, "Let me go over the rules of why you're here. It's because I've brought all of you to compete again just because I felt like it, and that the producers felt it was right for everyone to get the proper treatment. Just a little reward for letting me put up all my crap with you after all these years. But I got good news, campers."

Hearing this, Topher had a few words to the host, "You're gonna finally retire and let me take over as host?"

"NO!" The campers replied, staring down at the Chris wannabe.

"What?" Topher shrugged it off. "I just wanted to make sure."

"No Topher, I am not retiring and that's how it's gonna stay that way." Chris obviously stated, "Now _as_ I was saying... this season, I figured we take it up a notch, because this time, this season is taking place..."

In an instant, the static turned into a picture of a crystal-clear cruise ship entitled the S.S. McLean.

"...on the S.S. McLean!" Chris said, finishing his statement.

Just like that, the rest of the 24 contestants all gazed in shock, awe and amazement as shots of a massage parlor, swimming pool and game room were shown inside the cruise ship.

"I don't believe my eyes..." Owen said as his jaw dropped.

"That's rockin'..." Trent nodded.

"That's sha-fine!" Lightning nodded as well.

"I'm glad you asked, everyone." Chris clearly responded, "This cruise ship has it all. It has huge complimentary bedrooms, a massage parlor, a private game room, two huge swimming pools, fine cuisine, and free live music."

"Wow, it's like Heaven, except if I didn't die." Topher said in amazement, "You outdid yourself, Chris."

"Sure, whatever you like to think, Topher." Chris scowled at him again, "However, that's only the first class."

"Well, what's the lower class, then?" Courtney raised her eyebrow.

With a smile and an evil smirk, Chris turned the channel to see still images of a dark boiler room, complete with smelly used up beds, a fridge full of ordinary food, a wooden bathtub and an old used-up 1970's radio.

"That's what the lower class looks like." Chris replied, "It includes two rooms for two teams. Each features two wooden bunkbeds, complete with wooden-made bathtubs, a radio for entertainment, and pretty much ordinary food that you see from a supermarket, like bread, bologna, milk, cereal, kool-aid. The kinds of foods that aren't five-star material.

"There's no way I'm not ending up in lower class." Alejandro stated, "Me and Heather deserve first class. You can let everyone of these worthless idiotas have the rest."

"Like I'm ever gonna share with a burrito-eating weakling like you!" Max told straight to Al's face, "That first class suite belongs to someone so evil, so demented and so diabolical like me! I shudder to think you fall right into that category."

"Ooooh, a little boy's threatening me with such nonsense..." Alejandro said as he rolled his eyes sarcastically.

"Keep your underwear on, everyone." Chris replied, "And I mean that literally, Owen."

Hearing this, Owen had to put his underwear back on.

"This sucks..." The fat boy muttered.

"Anyway, I'm done telling you what's what." Chris nodded.

"Finally..." Heather rolled her eyes, "Can we at least head for the cruise ship?"

"Sure ya can." Chris nodded again, "It's right _over_ there."

As Chris pointed out to the ocean, the entire 24 contestants all looked out to see that the cruise ship was way far away from the pier. It was almost nearly 50 miles! All the host heard was complaints from the angry mob of people.

"Are you kidding me?!" Dave reacted in shock.

"Please tell me we don't have to flop all over there!" Jasmine whined.

"Wow, Chris is really good." Topher grimly nodded.

"That's not fair, Chris!" Courtney whined as well, "How in the hell are we supposed to get over there without any boats?"

"Relax, everyone." Chris said, calming the contestants down. "Since I'm a generous guy, over at the pier are boats that will take you over to the ship. And since it amuses me, we're gonna have a little race! The rest of you are gonna team up in various teams of one, two or three and you're gonna take a choice of boats. The last one, or should I say last ones, to make it to the boat last don't get a chance to make it this season. In fact, you will be gone just before you even get a chance to be this season."

"Heh," Scarlett chuckled as he turned to the other 23, "That sounds way too easy. I'll leave everyone of you in rubble until you're all nothing."

"Funny that you mention that, Scarlett." Chris chuckled as well, "Because in this little boat race, you can use anything to your advantage, including a choice of weapons to slow your opponent down. There are no rules and anything, and I say _anything_, goes."

The rest of the characters all gave each other death stares. Geoff and Bridgette were staring down Heather and Alejandro, who was also being stared down by Justin, who was being stared down by Max, who was being stared down by Scarlett, who was also being stared down by Shawn, Jasmine, Topher and Dave, who was also being stared down at Anne Maria, who was also being stared down by Lightning, who was being stared down by Jo, who was being stared down by Courtney, who was being stared down by Duncan, who was being stared down by Gwen. Trent couldn't stare down by Gwen as soon as they looked at each other, in which they shared a moment of uncomfortable silence. So far, Brick, Ella, Lindsay and Owen couldn't stare down each other since they were all frightened by the rest of their angry cold glares.

"Well, I'm already liking this tension." Chris chuckled, "Reminds me of Christmas time with the good folks."

To ease up the silent tension, the host grabbed a jetpack and wrapped it around his shoulders. In addition, he brought out a starting pistol for good measure.

"Anyway, now that I've already explained some of the crap that I've fed you, are you ready?" Chris smirked as he held up the pistol.

Hearing this, the rest of the nodding contestants got down on one knee and bent down, therefore getting ready to run at the pier.

"Are you ready to bring it?" The host replied.

Once again, the contestants all responded with a nod.

"Are you ready for this?" Chris replied again.

The contestants all nodded again, but they were feeling unpatient.

"Are you sure you want to-"

"JUST SHOOT THE DAMN GUN ALREADY!" The contestants yelled angrily at Chris.

"Fine, don't have a bird!" Chris shot back.

As soon as he shot that pistol of his, he finally screamed:

"GO!"

By the sound of his voice, the contestants took off for the pier, leaving Chris to fly away on his jetpack. But before he could leave however, Chris felt his feet being grabbed by an unknown source!

"What the-?" Chris said, therefore looking down.

When he did, he found out that Topher was the one keeping him down!

"Please don't leave me all alone in the pier!" Topher whined, "Let me travel with you!"

His pleas weren't doing anything to keep Chris from flying away. So the host decided to kick the Chris wannabe away.

"REMEMBER... THE... RESTRAINING... ORDER... TOPH!" Chris spoke between hits.

After a few unsuccessful tries, Chris finally got Topher off of him. And then, the host flew away to his drifting cruise ship.

* * *

**Wow, I gotta admit, this was a hard first chapter to write for sure. **

**I know I forgot what kind of theme the challenges will take place, but it will be either inside the cruise ship or perhaps traveling to different islands around the world. Who knows? Maybe I might do both if that's the case.**

**I know this is gonna be hard, but if you feed me some challenge ideas for future challenges, all you gotta do is PM or review me, and that's just about it from here! I know I didn't feature a confessional, but trust me, it will be shown in the story, alongside the teams and alliances I've thought of. **

**Will there be new rivalries and relationships?**

**Will Topher still annoy Chris, despite the restraining order?**

**Does Justin have some competition in the form of Alejandro?**

**Will I ever get to see snow drizzle?**

**Anyway, you gotta see what happens in Part II! Until then, feedbacks are welcome, my Total Dramatics!**


	2. The Thrillride Begins, Part II

**"Total Drama Cruise Tour"**

**Rated T for language and whatnot  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Total Drama, especially the characters. Total Drama and it's characters are owned by FreshTV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis. Anyway, I figured I'd try my hand at a competition fic right here. I don't know, it may not be good, it may not be bad, but I hope you'll still love it. Anyway, on with the fic!**

**P.S.: I will also have Snakeshark196 helping me with the challenges as well. We're gonna co-write this together, if that is if we need more help. ^_^**

* * *

**Chapter 2: The Thrillride Begins, Part II  
**

* * *

As Chris took off on his jetpack, the rest of the 24 contestants all raced to the pier, where they found 15 boats tied to the harbor. Three were speedboats, three were canoes, three were huge orange rafts, one was a bathtub, a swan boat, a banana boat, a jet-ski, a huge board of wood with a paddle, a dugout, and believe it or not, Fang the shark.

Justin therefore got his eyes on an awesome red jet-ski. After all, the color of red meant hot. So what better way to get to a cruise ship than a rocket-powered jet-ski?

"All right, a jet ski." The model smirked, "Come to Justin..."

But as soon as Justin got his hands on it, Alejandro shoved him to the dock and went in the water, therefore stealing the jet-ski so that he and Heather could ride on it. If that is, if she wanted to ride with him.

"Care to ride with me, mi amor?" Al smirked at her.

"Like I would ever take a ride on something so revolting, suicidal, and deathly as this." Heather scowled, "But sure!"

With an evil smile on her face, Alejandro and Heather drove off on the jet-ski. Justin then popped up from the water and growled at Alejandro far away just for doing that to him.

Suddenly, Justin did get a ride from Geoff, Bridgette and Owen, who were already sitting on a speedboat.

"Need a lift, Justin?" Bridgette replied.

"Anything as long as I can get close to Alejandro for doing that to me." Justin said as he got on the boat with the couple, "Although I'd admit I look a lot sexier wet."

After the team of Geoff, Bridgette, Owen and Justin drove away, Brick and Jo had their eye on a blue speedboat that they wanted to ride. Brick had his hand on it, but after realizing that he'd cut Jo off, he decided to be a gentleman about it and let Jo in first.

"After you, miss!" Brick exclaimed.

"So what, you're playing Mr. Nice Guy?" Jo raised an eyebrow, "Like I'm gonna be taken in by your gentleman shtick! But I'll take your boat if you don't mind."

"But I wanna ride on it." Brick replied, "I had my hand on in the first place!"

"Fine, but I ride and lead, Captain PeeBrain." Jo pointed out.

Sighing in defeat, Brick got in the speedboat with Jo as they drove off. After that, Lightning and Anne Maria were busy fighting over who was getting their hands over the last speedboat.

"Nah, that speedboat is sha-mine!" Lightning exclaimed, "Besides, Lightning loves fast! There's no way I'm gonna stick to some slow-moving dump-truck!"

"Ya better not mean me!" Anne Maria snarled at him, "And just for tha record, I'm proud of my curves! That doesn't give ya the right to call me fat!"

"Wha? Lightning never called you fat!" He said with eyes bulging.

"I bet ya were!" Anne Maria nodded, "I could see it in ya eyes!"

As the two argued, they didn't realize Max and Scarlett sneaking up behind them and taking the last speedboat.

"They won't even know what'll hit them, Max!" Scarlett whispered to him.

"Yes." Max nodded, "Although a promising, yet up-coming dictator like you needs to develop my traits first."

"For the last time, I'm not your sidekick!" Scarlett snapped at him, "I'm the leader and you're nothing but a nuisance!"

"It's not fair!" Max whined, "I should be the most evil one of them all, not you and especially not that hot piece of burrito beefcake!"

While both Max and Scarlett kept on arguing, Ella took her eyes on a beautiful swan boat that she liked. After all, she always thought swans were pretty enough. As Dave was trying to figure out which boat to ride in, Ella looked at him head-on.

"If you're looking for a ride, you're more than welcome to climb aboard." Ella smiled.

"And ride something corny like that?" Dave raised an eyebrow, "Wouldn't you ride something fast and roaring like that shark over here?"

Ella looked over at Fang the shark, who was busy sharpening his butter knife and fork without someone noticing him. When his attention caught Ella's, the expression of Fang's face went from a dangerous smirk to puppy dog eyes in a matter of seconds. Seeing this, the princess felt a bit bad for him. He didn't want to be left out of this fun of being rode on.

Thanks to Dave's suggestion, Ella managed to change her mind after seeing a lonely Fang.

"Awwwww, he's so lonely." Ella said with her heart warming. "Maybe he'll be fun to ride on. Like a cute little dolphin!"

"Yeah, hopefully one that won't kill me." Dave gulped as he followed Ella.

As the two left (perhaps to ride on the shark), Lindsay managed to get on the swan boat. She enjoyed the way the leather padding was warming her butt.

"Mmmmmm, it's almost like a massage chair!" Lindsay exclaimed, "It would be awesome if Terry was here with me!"

Suddenly, Dawn and Dakota, who were riding on a yellow raft, flew past Lindsay. As they were rowing, Dawn looked over to the dumb blonde.

"As much as I hate bad news, I'm afraid this 'Terry' you're referring to is not in this show anymore." Dawn reminded her.

"Yeah, and besides Lindsay, it's pronounced 'Tyler' and not 'Terry'." Dakota told her as well.

This bad news hit Lindsay like a cold hard brick (no pun intended). With that, she froze completely on the spot and screamed out in defeat:

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She went.

Meanwhile, Gwen was thinking on what to ride for the race. Before she could decide on a canoe or a inflated raft, her ex-boyfriend Duncan called out to her on an inflated raft.

"Hey babe, you wanna ride?" Duncan smirked.

"I rather ride with the sharks." Gwen scowled at the punk.

"Too bad, because Prince Crybaby and Princess Goody-Too-Shoes already got the shark." Duncan reminded her, "Like I said, you're more than welcome to ride with me."

"Uggggh, fine." Gwen groaned as she got in the raft with Duncan. "But just because I'm riding with you, that doesn't mean we have to be together."

"Sounds good to me, babe." Duncan nodded.

"And stop calling me _babe_!" Gwen exclaimed, "That got way too old few seasons ago!"

"Why not?" Duncan shrugged, "You know how much I love calling you _babe_. It's your pet name."

"Yeah, it's also because Trent used to call me _babe_, and I prefer not to be called that." Gwen sternly replied.

"Okay, whatever you say." Duncan nodded as he started rowing.

Meanwhile, Courtney was trying to get in the last orange raft when it sank instantly. The C.I.T. was shocked instantly by this.

"Ugggggh, are you freaking kidding me?!" Courtney whined, "Out of all the boats I get, this one sinks like a damn rock?!"

As Courtney was moments away from thrashing in the water, Trent came by with a banana boat.

"You know if you're wanting a ride, I can help you out." Trent smiled at her.

"No thanks, I'll just take my chances and swim over to the ship by myself, thank you." Courtney said, refusing Trent's offer.

"Yeah, that probably won't help at all." Trent replied, "Trust me, this boat is way faster. It's not a speedboat at all, but at least it'll help."

Courtney didn't really have a choice in all of this. She wanted to go solo, but Trent really made a good point. So maybe having a partner in Trent could really get her to the ship much faster.

"Fine, I'll do it." Courtney groaned, "But just because you're helping me, that doesn't mean I have to like you."

"No problem at all." Trent shrugged his shoulders.

Just like that, Courtney grabbed Trent's hand and pulled her up to the banana boat. Shockingly, Courtney let in a slight blush, knowing how warm and fluffy Trent's palm felt against his. Of course Courtney wouldn't fall in love with him that fast. That's impossible! Yet, it felt almost like a sign.

As Trent and Courtney rowed together, the team of Shawn, Topher and Jasmine were shown stuck inside a bathtub with paddles attached to it.

"Oh, this is just great..." Jasmine groaned sarcastically.

"I hear ya, Jazz." Topher nodded, "I can hardly breathe in here!"

"Yeah, but at least we didn't get a ship full of zombies." Shawn spoke while rowing.

"I knew I've should've went with Chris on that jetpack." Topher whined, "Why do I have to be stuck in a toilet bowl with these three?!"

"I don't like it anymore than you do, Topher, but I'm not willing to be left behind if we bicker." Jasmine replied, "Let's keep rowing."

However, Topher thought up an ultimatum, "I wonder if Chris-"

"And don't think about mentioning Chris, either." Jasmine said, threatening Topher.

"Tell it like it is, baby." Shawn replied, high-fiving Jasmine.

"Thanks." Jasmine said, doing the same.

While the trio kept on paddling, Lightning and Anne Maria (alongside Max and Scarlett) were busy arguing with one another, not even noticing that the rest of the contestants have already left.

"You let Lightning ride the boat!" He exclaimed, "He knows how to sha-handle a knob!"

"I bet ya say that to a gay guy!" Anne Maria smirked.

"Ohh, ha-ha..." Lightning said with mocked laughter, "That was so funny, Lightning forgot to-"

Suddenly, he looked behind Anne Maria's shoulder to see Scarlett and Max trying to start the boat! Alarmed of this, he shouted at him.

"Hey, get off Lightning's boat!" Lightning shouted.

"Your boat?" Max scoffed, "This boat belongs to me and my psychotic, yet attractive sidekick!"

"How many times must I tell you that annoying question?!" Scarlett shouted at Max, "I am not your sidekick, and I will never be! I'm the evil genius and you're just a cockroach who gets told what to do!"

"Why don't you and that fat little baby get outta the boat?" Anne Maria snapped at Scarlett.

"I am not a baby!" Max snapped at the athlete, "I was just given a poor growth spurt!"

"Well, let's let Lightning put you in your crib then!" Lightning threatened Max, therefore trying to strike at him!

"Same for you, you mentally challenged oaf!" Max said, looking to strike as well.

They were trying to fight each other, but both Scarlett and Anne Maria were trying to hold each of the men back. The Jersey chick tried her best to use all of her strength just to get Lightning away from Max while Scarlett picked Max up over her shoulder.

But suddenly, one of Max's feet hit the shift stick of the boat, therefore taking off in extra-fast speed.

"WHOOOOOOA!" The four screamed as both Scarlett, Max, Anne Maria and Lightning were sent flying back.

The speedboat managed to get past all 23 contestants (minus one if you count Lindsay), but instead of speeding towards the cruise ship, they were heading towards a big tugboat rolling by. Seeing this, the foursome screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH! LIGHTNING'S TOO HANDSOME TO DIE!" Lightning screamed.

"I'M TOO GORGEOUS TO DIE!" Anne Maria screamed.

"I'M TOO EVIL TO DIE, EVEN THOUGH I DON'T WANT TO!" Max screamed as well.

In such breathless impact, the speedboat crashed onto a tugboat, wrecking the entire thing and sending the foursome straight into the air!

Feeling frantic not to drown to death, Lightning and Anne Maria managed to grab a large piece of the broken ship, and so did Max and Scarlett! As soon as they hit the water, they were left but to swim on top of large pieces of wood.

"Oh, great! Now Lightning doesn't get a chance to ride on a sweet ship!" Lightning whined a bit.

"It's all that little purple jumpin' bean's fault!" Anne Maria muttered, referring to Max.

"I am not a little purple jumping bean!" Max shouted far away, "I am a qualified evil genius!"

"URRRRRGH! I AM SICK OF HEARING THAT!" Scarlett said to Max with gritting teeth, "FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M THE REAL EVIL GENIUS HERE!"

"NO, I AM!" Max shouted back to Scarlett.

"I AM!" Scarlett shouted again.

"I AM TIMES TEN, TWENTY, FIFTY, HUNDRED, THOUSAND, MILLION, GAZILLION, ZILLION AND ALL OF INFINITY!"

Somehow, this now became a shouting match between Max and Scarlett. Obviously a verbal battle of who's the evil genius. Not taking part of their little spectacle, Anne Maria and Lightning decided to leave them alone and swim out for themselves.

As the rest of the competitors already took off, Lindsay still stayed still on her swan boat. With her arms and legs crossed tightly, Lindsay felt mad and impatient. As she was waiting for someone to join her for the ride.

"Ohhhhh, where is _Travis_ already?" Lindsay replied, "I can't go if he's not here!"

Silence filled around Lindsay. She flopped her leg back and forth, Peg Bundy-style, and even heard crickets around her just for silent effect. Apparently, nothing and no one was gonna make her move and who would blame her?

* * *

**I'm sorry if the hilarity lacked a bit and I also apologize if some of the characters are a bit OOC and rushed, but apparently, the results should be dramatic enough to see who will make it to the ship.  
**

**So far, here are a list of the contestants and the ships they're riding in.  
**

_**Jet-Ski - Alejandro, Heather**_

_**Speedboat 1 - Justin, Geoff, Bridgette, Owen**_

_**Speedboat 2 - Brick, Jo**_

_**Fang the shark - Ella, Dave**_

_**Yellow raft 1 - Dawn, Dakota**_

_**Yellow raft 2 - Duncan, Gwen**_

_**Banana boat - Trent, Courtney**_

_**Bathtub - Shawn, Topher, Jasmine**_

_**A piece of broken speedboat 1 - Lightning, Anne Maria**_

_**A piece of broken speedboat 2 - Scarlett, Max**_

_**Swan boat - Lindsay**_

**The race continues into part III, next chapter. What tactics will they use to get to the cruise ship first, and who will be left back? Will I get free brownies for my latest attempt? You'll have to find out one way or the other next part! Until then, woo-haaaaaaah!  
**


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